Hearts Abroad / Hearts Abroad (Diasporas on love) / Immigrant Life / Novel / Writing

Prompt # 59 – value

More Notes from the Canadian honey jar

September 16, 2017

“…his value size box of (no name?) condoms, ripped open too!! (the box, that is)

What she wanted to know was, where on earth did he buy that??”

I must look at what’s the largest package (haha “largest package”) available at Shoppers, etc. (No Frills?) It was a bulk box! The only other place that comes to mind that he could have bought that from is Costco! He would have a membership, or his mom’s? Probably his mom’s. His saintly mom! The only woman he would ever love. He probably hates her guts! Can unresolved, unacknowledged anger make deep hate seem like deep love? Interesting notion to explore.

She tries to ‘undo’ the damage already done, to do a reverse and do a do-over, do the relationship ‘right’ since she didn’t like/wasn’t proud of how it started off. Deny the original start as ‘false’ somehow, and try to make a ‘new’ start, with actions she can get behind and feel sure that she can look back on and feel proud. Move forward as a better version of herself…

Cut to the ‘do-over’.

So anyway we get to THE night, the night she has she decided will be their official first time. Let’s just say she was ‘open’ to the possibility. Might have to be his birthday. Or on his birthday night. There is nothing else remotely memorable about that night. EXCEPT of course the value box of condoms that wasn’t even carefully opened but rather ripped. … seeing that box in the dim light from the hallway (the bedroom itself was dark) was a visual proof, a reminder, something she totally couldn’t deny, that he was exactly as advertised, and here was the proof. (What does it say about a guy when he doesn’t even bother to buy a fresh pack of condoms? Should a guy have to buy a fresh pack of condoms? What does it say about a guy when he has that much supply, already partially used?) The transition from the moment of seeing that box, and saying nothing as he helped himself from it then helped himself to her…And the rest is a downhill history.

I find that there are those pivotal moments, when a girl sees/hears/observes something and decides ‘he is worthy of me’ or ‘he is not worthy of me’, and goes ahead anyway. Sometimes it happens before sex (ideally), other times it happens after sex, but there’s always at least one crystal clear moment. It’s easier to put a stop to things if it happens before sex, of course.

The largest that Shoppers carries is a 36 pack. As I browsed the site, it occurred to me that a couple who uses no other method of contraception would need to buy in bulk like this. Why not? Makes perfect sense. It’s when a single guy has this much just lying around that one wonders…

Or am I being a prude, a judgemental prude?

Costco carries only 3 options. The largest is a tin of 58 !

It’s good to know that a guy can be labeled a whore, by the way. It’s not true that the label is only thrown at girls. Apparently even a guy can take the freedoms of the single life too far.

The do-over aspect is a very interesting one, definitely to be explored later on down the road.

So, do you suffer or have you in the past suffered from …‘do-over syndrome’, for true compatibility reasons, or because of fear of being alone?

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