As the days go by, feeling more and more that the invisible shield that I carried with me from “back home”, that protected me from feeling the alienating impact of the expressionless stares is starting to wear off. I will soon feel like I did in the early days, keenly aware of the stares and feeling that, even though I can do no wrong, I can do no right either. It’s a lost cause trying to look and feel normal anyway.
On that front, there was a glimmer of hope yesterday. While talking hands-free on my phone and shopping for groceries at the Wal-mart, I felt normal for the first time.
It looks like I might become a lover of music after all. It’s the best defense for my weakened immunity to the stares. The protective aura created by the familiar iTunes piped into my ears via my headphones is coming into realization just in time as the mysterious power of the stares, blank as they are, is beginning to be felt again.